Cat's Out of the Bag
by PearlyJammer
Summary: Based on Spoilers for "What Is and What Never Should Be."
1. Default Chapter

Title:  Cat's out of the Bag  1/?  

Author:  Autumn Biggins

E-mail: dyslexic_crisco_penguin_fiend@hotmail.com 

Disclaimer:  The characters belong to Carsey-Warner, I am just doing this for fun. 

A/N:  Set after: "I can't Quit you Babe."  Contains spoilers for "What is, and what never should have been." 

The Forman basement… 

            Jackie, Donna, Eric, and Hyde are watching 'the Brady Bunch' on TV.  Hyde is sitting in his chair, Jackie in the seat nearest her, and Donna and Eric are sitting on each other.  Jackie is watching Hyde, he's pretending to watch the TV, but keeps glancing at Jackie and Donna and Eric are busy.  "Well, I've gotta go, do something with the car"  Hyde said suddenly.  "Jackie help me?"  

            "Oh no.  You sit your butt down there, Mr. Beard" Eric said in his most authoritative voice.  

            "You two were going to make out!"  Donna jumped up suddenly. 

            "Don't be such a nutcase.  Jackie's just good at car stuff."  

            "Yeah Eric.  Ask your dad."  the brunette piped up before rushing out the door behind Hyde.  

            Eric turned to his girlfriend.  "We leave them alone for five minutes."  

            "Eric, we were in the room at the same time."  

            "Well, then just imagine what they do when they're by themselves."  

            "That's a mental picture I could live without.  Besides we're alone now, so.." 

            Eric pounces on Donna and they resume kissing.  

Meanwhile at the El Camino Haven of Love…… 

            Jackie and Hyde are in the backseat making out, yes again.  Jackie's on top of Hyde and they're kissing with abandon as only those who are "enjoying a meaningless fling" can kiss.   

            "Steven, we can't keep doing this.  Seriously, we have too stop!  All this sneaking around is affecting my complexion."  

            "I highly doubt that sneaking around makes you flush like that."  

            "Shut up!"  

            "You know you like it baby." 

            "You're just so mmmm-" she was cut off by his lips seizing hers again. 

The Basement Later…… 

            Hyde, Kelso, Jackie, Donna, Fez, and Eric are now present in the basement sitting in their usual places.  

            "Come on Jackie.  You remember the good times!"  

            "What you cheating on me?  You not taking me to the prom?  You being lame at everything!"  

            "Not everything.  When we did it, that was awesome!"  

            "Maybe for you, I never had time to find out."  

            "Burn" Hyde snickered.    "Kelso's a minute man.  Man, that's good stuff!"  

            "Hyde, I'm trying to talk here, you're not helping me out."  

            From upstairs Red bellowed "Eric, get up here!" Disentangling himself from Donna, he trudged up the stairs. 

            "Oh, I wish I could know if I was a minute man" Fez said while staring at Jackie.  

            "Fez, that's NOT a good thing"  Jackie snickered.  "Then again, neither is Michael." 

            " And Jackie comes in with another burn!"  Donna laughed.  

            "Pretty badass isn't it!"  Jackie squealed excitedly. 

            "Damn Jackie!  Language, there are ladies present."  

            "Michael?"  

            "Yeah?"  

            "Shut you're piehole!"  Jackie and Hyde said at the same time.  Everyone else burst out laughing.  On instinct Hyde reached for Jackie and they shared a tender kiss, unaware for the moment that anybody was in the room.  Silence fell.  Then suddenly they broke apart and saw Kelso's devastated expression before he ran out the back door.  

            It was quiet enough to hear the stairs creak, and the four turned to see Eric walk downstairs with a dazed expression on his face.  "My mom's pregnant."  

**********To be continued……. 


	2. Little Eric

*   Disclaimer in Part One      *  

"You're mom's having a baby?"  

"But she already has two, non babies."  Fez said.  

"You're mom got knocked up huh?"  Hyde said, rather tactlessly.  

"This calls for drastic measures."   Eric said. 

360 degree shot.  Fez, Eric, Hyde with Jackie in his lap and Fez.  

Eric:  My mom is pregnant.  

Donna:  She's gonna have a little Eric.  But she already has a little Eric!  

Hyde:  Hey, better a little Eric than a little Laurie.

Jackie:  Good call baby.  (they begin making out)  

Fez:  In my country, when a new baby is born, one of the other children has to be killed. 

Eric:  Guys, this isn't helping!  

Donna:   (laughing, and obviously stoned)  Eric, you don't get it.  You're mom, is going to have a little Eric! 

Camera pans to Hyde and Jackie who are still making out. 

Fez: Oh I fell sorry for you my friend.  I think your funeral will be special.  

Eric:  Thank you Fez, I'm touched.  

Donna:  I'll bring little Eric!  

Jackie and Hyde are still making out, and the others leave the table.   

The Foreman living room……… 

Red:  For God's sakes Kitty how did you get pregnant?  

Kitty:  Well it's not like you didn't have a part of it Red! 

Red: But Kitty, I'm too old for this.  You're too old for a baby.  

Kitty's eyes fill with tears and she rushes out of the room.  

Red:  Oh dear God, the only thing worse than a bunch of communist is the hormones of a pregnant woman.  

He gets up and follows his wife into the kitchen.  "Kitty, Kitty I'm sor-"  the sound of breaking glass against the door sends Red back out.  "I'll be in the garage if you need me."  

In Hyde's car…..  

Jackie: Steven, we have to tell Michael.  You saw how hurt he looked.  

Hyde: I know baby, but it'll be ugly. 

Jackie: Let's just get it over with. 

Hyde: All right.  We'll go by his house, see if he's around.  

Jackie just nodded.  About 15 minutes later they were at Kelso's house.  Kacey answered the door. 

Kacey:   You're Donna's friends aren't ya? What do you want?"  

Jackie:  Is Michael here?   

Kacey:  Sure is sweetheart.  Why don't you wait in my room and I'll go get him?  

Hyde placed his arm around Jackie and scowled at Kacey.  

Hyde:  No thanks; we'll wait out here.  

Kacey:  Don't get all hyped up there boy, was just offering.  Keep your shorts on, I'll get him. 

Jackie:  Is their whole family trying to get into my pants?  

Hyde:  Dunno, have you met their dad yet?  Heh, or their mom?  

Kelso appeared from the door, looking suspiciously red eyed.  

Kelso:  Get the hell out of here.  I don' have anything to say to friends that help my ex girlfriend cheat on me.  And I don't have anything to say to my ex who cheats on me with my friends.  

He slammed the door and they heard the lock click into place.  

Hyde:  There's nothing to do. We just gotta give him time babe.  

Jackie: Yeah, I guess so.  

Hyde:  Can we make out now?  

Jackie:  Is that all you think about?  

Hyde: Isn't that all you think about?  

Both: yes.  

Laughing they got back into Hyde's car and drove back to Eric's.  


	3. The Appocolypse is Nigh

*   Disclaimer in Part One   *  

(Takes place after part two)

Forman Kitchen……

Kitty, Hyde, Red and Eric are sitting at the diner table eating dinner. 

Hyde:  A baby huh?  

Red:  Oh hell, did you have to bring that up now?  Eric, how big is your damn mouth. 

Eric: Dad, Hyde lives with us.  He would have figured out that mom was pregnant sooner or later.  

Hyde:  Yeah.  So mom, where do babies come from? 

Kitty:  Hahhahah! That's not funny Steven. 

Eric:  Mom, where's the baby going to go? 

Red:  You're room.  

Kitty:  Red!  Of course not dear, we'll put the baby in Laurie's old room. 

Red:  No Kitty.  Eric will be gone soon; we'll use his room.  

Kitty:  Eric's room is closer and Laurie's probably living in sin with a boy somewhere.

Eric:  Okay, enough about the spawn of Satan.  

Hyde:  Aw come on, I want to here more about living in sin.  

Kitty:  What, like you and you're little girlfriend!  

Hyde:  I don't have a girlfriend.  

Kitty:  (uncharacteristically snappish) Jackie!  The girl you were practically nailing against the refrigerator door!   She shoved her chair out from the table and burst from the room in a fit of anger.  

The three men look stunned.  

Hyde:  You're mom said nailed.  I, um, wow. 

Eric:  The apocalypse is nigh. 

Red:  Don't ever have children.  Pregnancies are harder to deal with than 1,000 Japanese fighters.    Now you two do the dishes.  I've got to go calm your mother down.  

Hyde:  Red is calming Mrs. Forman down?  What the hell is going on? 

Eric:  The apocalypse is nigh.  

The two cleaned the table and did the dishes before slipping back down into the basement.  Jackie and Fez were there arguing over who was cuter, Scooby-Doo or Scrappy.  

Fez:  Scrappy is so little, and tiny.  He is not evil. 

Jackie:  Fez, Scrappy is the brain behind all the conspiracies.  He's little.  Little people are evil. 

Eric:  Right you are Yoko, Jackie.  Little people are evil. 

Hyde:  You're one to talk there Forman.   Hyde said as he sat down by Jackie. 

Eric:  You defended Jackie.  You like her!  Oh Man, I am telling Donna.  

Fez:  I want to go tell Donna too!  

Fez and Eric headed to the Pincioti's, leaving Jackie and Hyde alone.  

Jackie:  We've gotta talk to Michael.  

Hyde:  I'll talk to him.  You dumped him, which you should have done months ago.  He's pissed at me cause you know; we're uh friends and stuff. 

Jackie:  All right.  I'm gonna go talk to Mrs. Forman.  She's gonna have a baby.  That's so exciting!  She squealed and took off up the stairs.  

The basement door opened, and Kelso walked in…… 

To Be Concluded……


	4. Life is very short and there's no time f...

* Disclaimer etc., in part one *  
  
Kelso: You!  
  
Hyde: Get your pants on.  
  
Kelso: They're on. Look Hyde, I didn't come here to talk about my pants! I came here to talk about your pants, and Jackie's pants. And there's too many pants.  
  
Hyde: Look Kelso, you blew it with Jackie man. She doesn't deserve you. And we're together now, and you're not gonna change that.  
  
Kelso: (sighing and flopping down on the couch) I know Hyde. It's just; Jackie was the first woman I loved. Maybe I didn't show it by cheating on her, and always complaining about her, but I felt it Hyde. I felt it.  
  
Hyde: I know, man I know.  
  
Kelso: So, just. Be good to her Hyde. I never was.  
  
Hyde: (clapping Kelso on the back.) I will. So, wanna go to the school, see if there's any freshman we can beat up.  
  
Kelso: (leaps up from the couch) Alright!  
  
Hyde and Kelso leave the basement friendship intact, and all is right once again in Point Place. 


End file.
